I'm never going to be a dentist. It's time to face the sad truth. All the hours I've spent pulling my teeth have officially been wasted. I don't know what the fuck happened, but this shit's over. You want to know the real thing that just pulls your brain out like a fucking molar? Nobody fucking cares. I used to have such a knack at diagnosing gum disease just by making people laugh. And now? I'm inside a fucking vacuum that's on super-charge-go because someone finally tightened that shit-for-brains belt.
All the people I've helped by telling them what their problem was? They don't give a shit. All those jokers who said, "Dentistry's for you, baby," they have disappeared. And there's no more.
So what the hell do I do with all these teeth? I made a necklace, but no one will buy it for a dentist's yearly salary. And so I suck on the fat teat that feeds me until I grow so fucking large, I explode out into a mid-life midwife. If only the tired and the poor and the huddled masses could suck on a doorknob and make me a man.
Good bye to dentistry. Hello polyandry.